it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
