i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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