I can tuck mytits in my pants
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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