Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
The struggles of a small town man whore
i need some magic done to my vagina
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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