I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
