let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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