At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
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