OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
