and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
