Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
She bit a glass in half.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize