Her vagina should come with caution tape.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
