i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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