I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
