my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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