There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
