I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
