Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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