; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
