shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
