He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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