Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
