When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
this hospital has no fireball
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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