you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
