Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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