I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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