i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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