VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
