I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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