the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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