Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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