chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
