THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
