Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
