Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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