You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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