That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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