Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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