if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
It's shark week go big or go home
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize