I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
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