I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
