There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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