You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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