My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
