If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
