i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
3pm strippers are depressing
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
