My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
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