I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
