Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
