Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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