I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
