sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
