nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Randomize
