he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
