is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
