I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
