You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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