Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
