The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
You can't special order awesome
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she pinky promised me she was 18
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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