she was so not down for the gang bang
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
