I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
