I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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