do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
