I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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