My room smells like vodka and shame
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
