some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
My dick has a subreddit
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
