How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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